reading journal entry #7 (306 words)

Response to A Pack of Wolves 

Firstly the descriptions of the characters were well done and you did a great job making me feel like I was in the moment. Also, you established a plot very quickly that was interesting, the whole witches vs werewolves sounded like a pretty cool plot. The grammar and spelling were well done and I didn’t notice anything wrong there personally, I felt like you really took your time with the piece and proofread it a few times.

The things I think need some work would be the following. I know it is hard to establish much of a connection for a character in a short story but not impossible, and in this case I really did not care what happened to the werewolves or to anyone in the story and I generally do like fantasy fiction. Somehow a greater bond needs to be established to at least one character or perhaps try to get the reader really hooked on what will happen next in the story. Another problem I had with the story was that this premise is really abundant in fiction and has been over done. That said, I think you can use the fantasy setting for some really amazing stories, you just need strong characters and plot (plot I think you’re good on) to pull it off in a world kind of over-saturated with these. I think Ryan’s Zombie story is a good example of a familiar setting with something new that keeps it fresh. I think the premise you have here is really good and I would personally be interested to read a longer version of it, I think if you establish the characters and elaborate on the plot it’d be a really great read. I think the length kind of forced to to stifle everything you might want to do with it.